Post-Script

7 weeks ago today (well, technically yesterday now), my dad and I pulled out from the beautiful coastal Southern California, traveling some 1,600 miles in just over 72 hours back to the midwest. Somehow it seems like it was months and months ago I was there.
Most of the time I think it's good to reflect after a chunk of time has passed. So this is probably what this will turn out to be.

There were so many events in my last days in California and the processional road trip back home that I could bore you with the details of "what I did." But I've come to realize that "what I did" doesn't evoke the needed impressions as if I did a "thoughts and feelings" post. So in attempt to not bore you with hour-by-hour descriptions of what I did, I'll allow some of my post-California thoughts.
But just in case you wanted a taste of "what I did": So at 9:45 am Wednesday August 11, we left Ventura. We stopped at Point Mugu. Then we traveled along the PCH through Malibu. Then we turned east at the SM pier and drove to Vegas..blah, blah, blah.... ;-)

In short, this blog could just be summed up: I miss _______. Because, truly, I miss California, and the summer I had, the people I met, the ocean, beach, piers, etc. But where's the fun in just saying "I miss California"? Seems more like a facebook status or a tweet than anything. And although I'm not quite sure to dissect HOW I miss it, I think writing could bring out realizations I never knew. (Sometimes that happens when I'm writing...instead of thinking, my fingers just punch letters that turn into words that turn into sentences, and all the sudden they mean something I hadn't known before...hence my "base" blog title, "When Words Create Meaning".)

So in order to attempt to dissect my thoughts and feelings, I need to start while I was still out in California.
It was last Monday of my "summer". Gigi night. My last day of my internship. That day was terribly emotional...and even that's an understatement. (just ask the girls there just how many kleenex I used. My guess? 7 or 8)
I've said it time and time again here, but truly, this Bible Study group has challenged and grown me in ways I did not expect. It felt so intimately loving and caring to be with 20 other girls who truly, honestly, and purely wanted to love each other through prayer, accountability without judgment, and through fellowship. Sometimes there are no words to describe love, and this is an instance where I fell completely in love with the group, what they did for each other, and how God used them in my life.
The same goes for College Group. While Gigi was such an intimate atmosphere between the girls, college group was such an encouragement in my faith by exploring theology. I can't say I was MORE challenged in college group than Gigi, but it simply challenged me differently in my life than Gigi. With theological debates, or even just grappling and wrestling with God's word, and what it means to be a Christian in today's world, I came away each Sunday feeling like I knew a tiny piece of God a little more.
These people have changed my lives in ways I never expected, but in ways I have come to love. The mentors/leaders in each group challenged the cultural norms, even in Christian society, so that we might understand and grow closer to God. I was put outside of my comfort zone in many fascets, and (very abnormally for me)I loved it.The song from WICKED "For Good" seems to describe these people more than I can. (I know, I'm a true "broadway" geek when I quote song lyrics from different musicals...just wait, I'm sure RENT will pop up here soon, as well.) "I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are lead to those who help us most to grow, if we let them and we help them in return...But I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you."

So now fast-forward 7 weeks.
I'm living in an apartment (yay!) with two wonderful roommates, attending classes, while working a job 25 hrs/week (that I also love). I think the reason it feels like the 7 weeks was so long ago is because I have fallen into my norm here again. I'm back at "home", in the cities, going to the same school, hanging out with the same people, grocery shopping at my same two favorite grocery stores (Cub & target, of course). It's like I've fallen into this pattern of predictability, and I've gotten comfortable again.
Some of the comforts have been a wonderful blessing...like going home on the weekends to see my parents, play with my puppy, and hang out with my growing-up-faster-and-faster sister. It's been a comfort to see the fall foliage again, or sit by the still lakes, or take a canoe out onto one. It's been a comfort being able to just call up my best friend and hang out, or even call up a very dear old friend of mine from elementary school who's recently moved down here to hang out.
It's been a comfort to just sit in my new apartment, which I am adapting to ever-so-quickly as my "new home."
Yet some of the "comforts" have me sitting here wondering where the adventure is, longing for a little excitement. For instance, when I first moved down to the cities, downtown Minneapolis seemed so huge and unmanageable. When I brought my car down here my sophomore year, I was nervous to drive in such a huge metropolis (as it seemed to me at the time.) Now after driving through so many large cities, like San Francisco and LA (I got pretty good at LA traffic, all thanks to Chelsea's GPS), I am so unbelievably bored with Minneapolis. Nicollet Ave doesn't have the same squeal-factor (maybe it will during the Hollidazzle, who knows?). Uptown is cute and trendy and spunky, but it's just seemingly all so "blah", like "I've done this a million times."

So what does this mean? I'm just bored? Maybe. That I miss California? Duh.
I used to compare everything in California to Minnesota...I think that's the way we learn to culturally adapt. But now, it seems while I'm living here in Minnesota day-to-day, I long more and more for the Golden Coast. You see, during the summer I loved the ocean, but I longed for the lakes. Now while enjoying the lakes, I long for the ocean. Fall foliage is quickly dulling on me while I think of the green palm trees standing tall along the oceanfront. I even love my friends and family here and missed them terribly over the summer, but I miss my church family out there now.

At this point, I'm having a hard time believing I can "win". It seems like a "win-lose" situation either way. Minnesota - win. Not being in Cali - fail. But then the other way around would most likely appear if I lived out there now. California - win. Not being in Minnesota - fail. So now there's the age-old question, "What's a girl to do?"

For now? Nothing. I can't really do much of anything other than enjoy the blessing of what's in front of me and being content where I am at, working at a great job and working hard in school, while savoring the little down-time I have (which lately has included working at putting together my videos from over the summer.)

So, again, in short, I am simply going through "California withdrawals." The song says "I left my heart in San Francisco." Well, it may not be San Fran, but I sure did leave my heart in SoCal, that's for sure!

(Be sure to check back within the coming week or two for the videos of my summer! Currently working on my "pre-birthday in LA" with Critter.)